COMEDIAN TROY BAXLEY!

Troy Blows Away Old Folks

Comedian Troy Baxley will be in the studio on New Years Eve morning in the 8am hour. Check him out at www.troybaxley.com and get tickets to his show at the Funnybone at www.funnyboneomaha.com

TRACK SANTA ON NORAD

Tomorrow is the big day! Your children have been waiting for Christmas for weeks. But the final few hours until Santa's arrival can seem like an eternity.

Fortunately, you can help speed the time. Just visit NORAD's Santa-tracking Web site. Starting today, it will track Santa's journey from the North Pole.

There are plenty of activities to keep your children occupied. There are great videos, satellite images and live audio reports. Your kids will love it!

Check out www.noradsanta.org

ROB CORDDRY'S NEW SHOW!

Comedian/Actor Rob Corddry has a new show called "Children's Hospital". It's a parody of all the medical drama on TV right now. You can check it out online at www.thewb.com

SCARLETT JOHANSSON USED TISSUE FOR SALE!

I'll be the first person to admit that SCARLETT JOHANSSON is VERY sexy. But I believe, as I do with any celebrity, that there have GOT to be limits to the worship. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees.

People are actually hitting up eBay and bidding on a tissue that Scarlett BLEW HER NOSE INTO. And last we checked, the price had been driven up past $4,000.

Just so you know, this is a LEGIT auction. Scarlett was on "The Tonight Show" on Wednesday night, nursing a cold she had caught from SAMUEL L. JACKSON while they were filming their upcoming movie, "The Spirit".

Scarlett blew her nose into the tissue, and now she and the "Tonight Show" are selling it . . . with proceeds going to a food-gathering charity called USA Harvest.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=220331665273

FLAME BY BURGER KING!

A solution has finally arrived for men who always wanted to smell like meat. Burger King has launched a cologne fragrance with a hint of flame-broiled meat entitled Flame.

Interested customers can visit the scent's website at http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/. Burger King is promoting its delicious aroma saying, quote, "Flame by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold...now you can set the mood for whatever you're in the mood for."

PRESIDENT BUSH SHOE DODGE GAMES!

You knew it wouldn't take too long for video games based on the "Shoe Dodging President Bush". Here are a couple that I have found so far.

I like this one best!

SCARED OF SANTA!

This is a really funny website full of about 250 pictures of kids screaming their heads off while having their picture taken with Santa. CLICK HERE FOR MORE PICTURES!

DO YOU HAVE THIS KINKS SHIRT?

Kinks fans, check your closet for a tour shirt from their 1985 U-S tour -- Universal is looking to buy a few for use in a feature film. If you have one, E-mail Dave Emien at DaveMail@kinks.it.rit.edu.

THE BOSS - FOR FREE?

The N-F-L needs you to be part of the Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band's Super Bowl halftime show. Producers are looking for volunteers to be part of the on-field audience for the show. To be considered, you have to take part in several pre-show rehearsals in which you'll practice your enthusiasm for Springsteen and the E Streeters. No-no's include drinking, smoking and foul language of any kind. For more information, go to SuperBowlCast-dot-com. Super Bowl 43 will take place in Tampa, Florida on February 1st.

SAVE THREE SHEETS!

HERE'S A MESSAGE FROM ZANE

OK, as you probably have heard by now, MOJO HD is going off the air as of December 1st. The big surprise, however, is that another network hasn't swooped in to grab it. What's up with thaaaat?

We have 15 NEW episode completed and 5 more in the works. Can you imagine not ever being able to see them?! So, a grass-roots campaign has been started to SAVE THREE SHEETS. Some radio stations, like CD 105.9, have gotten involved, but the power really is with you.

Here are some networks that would make sense. Send them emails. Tell your friends. Spread the word. Inundate them!

Here's Spike's email address (they also have an HD channel):feedback@spike.com

Here's Comedy Central feedback form:http://www.comedycentral.com/help/questionsCC.jhtml

Here's the Travel Channel form (they also have an HD channel): http://www.travelchannel.com/About/Viewer_Relations

Here's the form for Discovery Channel (they also have an HD channel):http://extweb.discovery.com/viewerrelations

Don't let me become "that guy who used to host that drinking show"!!!

Cheers!

Zane

Check out http://www.zanelamprey.com/

HERE'S A LIST OF THE TEN STUPIDEST HOLIDAY GIFTS . . . FROM A WEBSITE CALLED STUPID.COM

Every year, countless people receive holiday gifts . . . that are just plain stupid.


Anyway, we stumbled across a list of the TEN STUPIDEST gifts for this year's holiday season . . . according to a website called Stupid.com.


#10.) Pole Dancer Alarm Clock: When the alarm goes off, a plastic erotic dancer spins around a mini stripper pole. $25.99.


#9.) 2009 Dog Doo Calendar: Need I say more? $13.95.


#8.) "How to Tie a Tie" Tie: This is a regular necktie . . . with instructions on how to tie a necktie on it. $14.99.


#7.) OBAMA "Yes We Can" Opener: I hate puns, but I love a good can opener . . . so I'm conflicted on this one. $5.99.


#6.) Men's Underwear Repair Kit: When the going gets tough . . . the tough fix up their dirty, old tighty-white-ies. $9.95.


#5.) Wasabi-Flavored Gumballs: Delicious, no? $3.99.


#4.) Potty Putter: Why read a book on the toilet . . . when you can practice your golf swing? $21.99.


#3.) Mini Guitar Hero: It's just like the real "Guitar Hero" video game, only smaller, less fun . . . and much, much crappier. $14.99.


#2.) Wealth Redistribution 2008 Holiday Ornament: This is a gag holiday ornament . . . for the Socialist jerk in your life. $3.99.


#1.) Screaming Chicken: If you really, truly HATE someone, then THIS is definitely what you should give them . . . or their kid. $9.99. (Yahoo News)


(--Check out a video of this God-awful Screaming Chicken here . . .)





(--You can pick up all these toys by performing a simple search here . . .)


http://www.stupid.com/

TV GUIDE'S TV'S TOUGHEST ACTION HEROES!

TV Guide Magazine has named Television's Toughest Action Heroes in the Nov. 17 issue, which hits newsstands on Thursday.

MacGYVER: Laugh if you must, there is nobody better at saving the day than the mulleted Mr. Wizard of explosive household items. Devoted to non-violence, Mac's scientific solutions to international crises and catastrophes showed us that brains can trump brawn, and that physics is handier than a handgun. Especially if it's crafted from an old apple core, a thumbtack and a length of duct tape.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: In every generation, there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against vampires, the demons and the forces of Darkness. She is the Slayer. And she raised the stakes for future teen titans by dispatching the undead with an acrobatic prowess and acerbic wit that was sharper than even her beloved weapon, Mr. Pointy.

JACK BAUER: Is it heresy that Mr. 24 isn't No. 1? Yeah, Jack-O's survived torture in a Chinese prison, pulled the U.S. from the brink of war and kicked smack, but let's be real: The man has only worked six days in the past seven years! Still, when the shizz goes down, we're doomed without this one.

SYDNEY BRISTOW: Next to the word "butt-kicking" in the Badass Dictionary is a shot of this chameleonic CIA spy. Whether she's blowing up cars or bustin' up the killer clone of her dead pal Francie, the only thing more vicious than Syd is the fact that Alias took such a beating in the ratings at the end of its five-season assault on the airwaves.

MAGNUM, P.I.: Despite the Ferrari, short-shorts and hideous Hawaiian shirts, this is not a guy you mess with. First off, he played college football and those dudes are monsters. Secondly, the chest hair? Total virility. And finally, before he landed the cushy gig as Robin Masters' personal dick, Thomas Magnum was a Navy SEAL during Vietnam, which means he could crush your windpipe faster than you can say "nice porn 'stache."

LA FEMME NIKITA: If sex is a weapon, then our girl was a nuclear warhead. Lithe, blonde and licensed to kill, the counterterrorist operative may have been forced into service to save her own hide, but she packed a major punch (literally) when it came to carrying out orders and looked so good in those slinky black outfits, it actually hurt.

WALKER, TEXAS RANGER: So muy macho, we're gonna skip the goofy tidbits about his alter ego Chuck Norris (he didn't really count to infinity twice) and focus our love on the Dallas ranger who used martial artistry to make his point. Walker doesn't sweat. He scares water out of his pores.

BRANDON WALSH: Who cares if he only threw, like, maybe three punches total during the original 90210's decade-long run? Between the ice-skating chick, the teen mom, the Latina in the witness protection program, the racist at the Beach Club, Andrea, Kelly, crazy Emily Valentine, Tracy, Susan and Valerie, this guy saw more "action" than everyone else on this list combined.

XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS: Take one part leather bustier, two parts camp and a healthy dash of bellowing bad girl, and you get the ill-tempered Grecian goddess. She was better with swords than words, could throw down with the big boys like Hercules, and could still find special time for her BFF Gabrielle. They were just friends, right?

BIONIC WOMAN and SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN: Way cooler as a couple than the sum of their (electronic) parts, the track-suited duo with the slo-mo superpowers handily showed the Fembots and Bigfoot who was boss, without breaking a sweat. Which is a good thing, since that could have short-circuited them.

MOVIE TITLES THAT GOT LOST IN TRANSLATION

50 Movie Titles That Got Lost In Translation

Army Of Darkness is Captain Supermarket? Die Hard 3 becomes Die Hard: Mega Hard? And you don’t want to know what Boogie Nights turned up as…
On their journey around the international film markets, films have a habit of changing names, as local distributors target the flicks at their audiences. Sometimes, however, as this list shows, a new title doesn’t always quite capture the meaning of the original when it’s translated back into English.
We’ve hunted round many corners of the Internet for this collection, and credited sources at the bottom. If you’ve got any more to add, do let us know. Meanwhile, we’ll start our tour in China, where they’ve got this little lot…
____________________
CHINA
The Full Monty: Six Naked Pigs
The Blair Witch Project: Night In The Cramped Forest
As Good As It Gets: Mr Cat Poop
Boogie Nights: His Great Device Makes Him Famous (Genius. Just genius)
Leon: This Hit Man Is Not as Cold as He Thought
Fargo: Mysterious Murder in Snowy Cream
Austin Powers: Trump Card Big Liar
Deep Impact: Earth And Comet Collide
Knocked Up: One Night, Big Belly
Nixon: The Big Liar
Risky Business: Just Send Him To University Unqualified
Free Willy: A Very Powerful Whale Runs To Heaven
____________________
GERMANY
Airplane: The Unbelievable Trip In A Wacky Aeroplane or The Incredible Journey In A Crazy Airplane (depending on which translation you believe)
K9: My Partner with the cold Snout
Dragnet : Floppy Coppers Don’t Bite, or Yellow Coppers Don’t Bite (again, depending on which translation you go with)
The Parent Trap: A Twin Seldom Comes Alone
Die Hard: Die Slowly
Die Hard With A Vengeance: Die Slowly, Now More Than Ever
Dodgeball : Full Of The Nuts
Girl, Interrupted: Cuckoo (Succinct and to the point…)
Annie Hall: The Urban Neurotic
____________________
ISRAEL:
Knocked Up: The Date That Screwed Me
Superbad: Super Horny
The Naked Gun: The Gun Died Laughing
____________________
ITALY:
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind: If You Leave Me, I Delete You
____________________
FRANCE:
Fried Green Tomatoes: The Secret Is In The Sauce
Dirty Harry: Inspector Harry
Home Alone: Mom, I Missed The Plane
The Matrix: The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses
____________________
SPAIN:
The Dark Knight: Night Of The Knight (we really like this one…)
____________________
PERU:
Knocked Up: Slightly Pregnant
____________________
MEXICO:
Juno: Juno: Grow, Run and Stumble.
Snatch: Pigs And Diamonds
Thelma and Louise: An Unexpected End
____________________
DENMARK:
Die Hard With A Vengeance: Die Hard: Mega Hard (That’s just awesome, to be fair)
____________________
HONG KONG
American Pie : American Virgin Man
____________________
ARGENTINA:
Grease: Vaseline
____________________
PORTUGAL:
Lost In Translation: Meetings and Failures in Meetings
Die Hard: Skyscraper Attack
Die Hard 2: Airport Attack
____________________
CZECH REPUBLIC
Bad Santa: Santa Is A Pervert
Hot Shots! : Warm Shots
____________________
FINLAND
Big Momma’s House: The Cop In Drag
____________________
JAPAN:
Army Of Darkness: Captain Supermarket (WTF?)
The Horse Whisperer: Held by Wind in Montana
Being John Malkovich : The Hole Of Malkovich
Mr Holland’s Opus: The Sunny Classroom
Jersey Girl: I Love My Dad The Best In The World
____________________
TAIWAIN:
Get Smart: Is The Spy Capable Or Not
--------------------LATIN AMERICA:
Rain Man: When Brother’s Meet

TOM WILSON ON FRIDAY MORNING

Tom Wilson will be in the studio on Friday morning at 8:00am. You know him best as Biff from the "Back to the Future" movies. He's also an amazing artist.

Check him and his art out online at www.tomwilsonusa.com

SUPER OBAMA WORLD!

And if you've got some time to kill, check out a new online video game called "Super Obama World". It's like "Super Mario Brothers" . . . only with Obama. You collect American flags, and avoid lipstick-wearing pigs. You can play the game here . .

http://superobamaworld.com/

$226,000 Pontiac on Ebay!

JUNKER ON EBAY GOES FOR $200,000+ _ An eBay auction for this 1963 Pontiac LeMans Tempest started out innocently enough. It read, "Obtained after owner died. Appears to have original interior but no motor, no transmission. Body has a little rust and some dents. There's stuff in the trunk, but no key to open it." The opening bid ten days ago was a mere $500. After one week, eBay seller 123ecklin will pocket $226,521 before auction fees. What happened between Day 1 and Day 10 is an amazing story. What the owner didn't know is that the car is one of only six 1963 Pontiac LeMans Tempest Super Duty coupes ever made. Hemmings Motor News recently did a story on the rare cars in which they listed all ever built.

... With only seven minutes remaining, the highest offer was $95,000. When the virtual gavel fell, eBayer ccsi2000 had bought a very rare, if a little rusty, LeMans for $226,521.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Pontiac-Le-Mans-TEMPEST-63-PONTIAC-LeMANS-TEMPEST-1-4-MILE-CAR-W-O-MOTOR-TRANS_W0QQitemZ110306170567QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Cars_Trucks?hash=item110306170567&_trksid=p4506.c0.m245&_trkparms=72%3A72765%3A1239%3A1240%3A

PINK FLOYD CHUCK TAYLOR ALL_STARS!

March 2009 sees one of the more unusual collaborations with Pink Floyd hit the stores in the US. Converse, manufacturers of iconic sneakers/training shoes, are bringing out a range of shoes with British Rock graphics and designs on them - taking in the likes of The Who and Ozzy.

Iconic band graphics and visuals inspire this unique collection of Converse shoe designs "celebrating pioneering bands that disrupted the status-quo and changed music forever". Whilst not of interest to everyone, there are nonetheless many who will want to grab a pair or two when they go on sale.

The Pink Floyd collection takes you through three of their best known albums. Graphics from Dark Side of the Moon grace black Chuck Taylor All Star and Jack Purcell shoes with rainbow reflecting prisms and EKG lines accenting these sneakers. Animals is the inspiration for a spacey version of a Chuck Taylor All Star shoe with the Pink Floyd logo running up the heel stripe and the album's famous imagery of a pig floating in the clouds on the shoe's upper. The unsettling image of the flaming businessman shaking the hand of another from the album artwork of Wish You Were Here is screened onto the upper of a Chuck Taylor All Star shoe - the flip-side features the image of the businessman on a sand dune holding a record album.

The Chuck Taylor All Star shoes come in high top black/multi, black/white and white/black/pink canvas. Jack Purcell shoes come in high and oxford black/multi leather versions. Shoes in this collection retail for MSRP $50 - $100 and will be available across the US at specialty retailer department stores and online at www.converse.com beginning in March.

Vote for your favorite. The top eight will enter the brackets for the Battle of the Classic Rock Guitarists.

View Poll View Results

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HERE ARE TEN WAYS TO MAKE YOUR FELLOW MOTORISTS HATE YOU

HERE ARE TEN WAYS TO MAKE YOUR FELLOW MOTORISTS HATE YOU:


Contrary to popular belief, there is a RIGHT way to drive . . . and a WRONG way to drive. Anyway, if you're trying to make everyone else on the road HATE you . . . here are TEN surefire ways to do it.

Here' the top tem list from SPIKE TV:

#10.) Hurry Up and Stop: You've seen these guys. They weave in and out of traffic, cutting off other drivers at twice the speed limit. But when you reach the next red light . . . they're sitting right there next to you.


#9.) Everyone Needs to Hear My Music: Sorry folks, but I don't want to hear your crappy FERGIE CD . . . and I don't want my kids to hear the new TOO SHORT song where he says the "F-word" over and over and over and over and over . . .


#8.) Honking at Someone Trying to Make an Unprotected Left: If you're sitting behind someone who's trying to turn left, they're probably going to wait until it's SAFE before making the turn. Honking is only going to distract them . . . so don't do it.


#7.) Super Bright Headlights on a Lifted Truck: I get it . . . you want to be able to see where you're going. But when your unnecessarily bright headlights are shining right in my eyes . . . I kind of want you to drive off a cliff. I'm sorry, but I do.


#6.) Riding the Brakes: The road is completely open in front of you . . . so why are you hitting your brakes every ten seconds? Seriously . . . why?


#5.) It's Not "Your" Lane: I'm driving down the road and there's plenty of room to change lanes. But the moment you see my blinker come on . . . you speed up and block my way. Do you know how much I hate it when you do that?


#4.) Trying to Find the Magical Super Lane: If the highway is congested and traffic is moving at 15 miles per hour . . . you're not going to make it to your destination any quicker if you dart in and out of lanes. You just won't.


#3.) Get Off Your Freaking Cell Phone: Why is it that the minute someone gets on their cell phone, maintaining control of their car . . . which is screaming down the highway at 80 miles per hour . . . suddenly becomes priority number TWO?


#2.) Stopping Traffic in Your Lane So You Can Cut Over: There might be signs for MILES telling you which lane you need to be in . . . but it doesn't matter because there will always be a few jerks who stay in the wrong lane until it's too late.


#1.) Cutting People Off: How hard is it to switch lanes without totally screwing me over? You know what? I'll answer that: It's easy . . . really easy, actually. The problem is that you just don't care.

CHECK OUT A COOL SERIES OF PHOTOS OF YOUR NEW PRESIDENT

Whether you love BARACK OBAMA or you hate him . . . you have to admit that these photos, from the Boston Globe, documenting his presidential campaign are pretty cool.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/11/the_next_president_of_the_unit.html?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed1

ACTOR BILL PULLMAN'S SON BUSTED WITH MOONSHINE!

I know people still make a little "Shine" in the hills of Kentucky and other area in the south, but I didn't know it was popular with celebrity kids! Actor BILL PULLMAN'S kid drinks the MOONSHINE!?!

Bill Pullman is an actor, for those of you who don't immediately recognize his name. He played the president in "Independence Day" . . . and the guy SANDRA BULLOCK falls for in "While You Were Sleeping".

On Monday night, Bill's 19-year-old son, JACK PULLMAN, was arrested in Asheville, North Carolina for getting smashed on shine. (!!!)

Pullman and a 19-year-old friend were pulled over and arrested on charges of underage drinking, possession of moonshine, resisting police and the rather serious-sounding charge of assaulting a government official.

Pullman and his friend go to school at nearby Warren Wilson College.

They were released on Tuesday. There's been no comment yet from Bill Pullman's camp.

Scariest Movies Ever

List of the most frightening horror movies ever made from FRANKS REEL REVIEWS

1. The Shining - Numerous memorable scenes come to mind, (redrum, all work and no play, man in the bunny suit) - but they all add up to make the scariest movie of all time.

2. Silence of the Lambs - The most visceral fear comes from one's own mind, and this one is the king of the psychological thrillers.

3. Se7en - So disturbing to the psyche it has its own rating category on Reel Reviews. I wonder if FedEx would really make that delivery!

4. King Kong (1930) - Despite the flickering gorilla fur, this one frightened a whole generation of new moviegoers.

5. Psycho - The most prominent representative of the genius of Hitchcock. Janet Leigh's shower scene is one of the most frightening scenes ever filmed for a movie.

6. The Ring - A ringing phone scared me for days after seeing this one. A clean change of underwear anyone?

7. Halloween (1978) - So scary it spawned no fewer than 8 direct sequels, not to mention numerous acknowledgements in other Hollywood productions.

8. Frankenstein (1931) - Combines a beautifully simplistic tale with the potent topic of man vs. nature to create a horrific fairy-tale that continues to mesmerize more than seven decades after its release

9. The Hills Have Eyes (2006) - with the threat of nuclear disaster and its effects on humans largely forgotten, how successful would a remake featuring villains mutated by radioactive fallout play to today's generation of horror fans? Well, it worked back then and it works today.

10. Carrie (1976) - Mixes telekinetic powers with our innate fear of being ridiculed to create a classic horror masterpiece.

11. Bad Ronald (1974) - An ABC, made-for-TV movie. The premise alone is the star of the show and is guaranteed to keep you awake for a few nights. Difficult to watch however, as it's not yet out on DVD, but you can pick up a copy here.

12. Jaws (1975) - Forced a whole generation to stay out of the water. Is it safe to go back yet?

13. Night of the Living Dead (1968) - The Royal King Father of all zombie movies. That reminds me, I'm hungry!

14. Exorcist (1973) - Made an entire generation of filmgoers never order split pea soup again!

15. The Birds (1963) - The film's tagline alone says it all: "Suspense and Shock Beyond Anything You Have Seen or Imagined!" Ooooo, scary!

16. The Blair Witch Project (1999) - Although it turned out to be the biggest sham in filmmaking history, it was scary nonetheless.

17. The Changeling (1980) - I'll never see a wheelchair the same again!

18. Friday the 13th (1980) - Must be scarier than Halloween because it spawned more sequels!

19. Signs (2002) - Crop circles, Shyamalan and Aliens, Oh My!

20. Alien (1979) - Now I get extremely concerned every time I have indigestion.

21. The Descent (2005) - The translucent-skinned humanoids resemble a creepy cross between Gollum, Spock, and Vladislaus Dracula's naked, flying-monkey devil-brides featured in Van Helsing. A descent into madness in more ways than one.

22. The Devil's Rejects (2005) - Sequel to House of 1000 Corpses. One of the few instances of a sequel surpassing the original. Also contains some of the best one-liners in a horror movie.

23. A Clockwork Orange (1971) - Many don't classify it as a horror movie per se, but it's terrifying nonetheless. Kubrick's best movie?

24. Videodrome (1983) - Cronenberg horror that relates the troubles of society to television. A visionary?

25. The Thing a.k.a John Carpenter's The Thing (1982) - This remake of the 1951 original was largely dismissed by critics and audiences when it first came out, probably because Spielberg's E.T. had just been released two weeks prior. A great example of how characters should be written in horror movies.

26. Quarantine (2008) - Undoubtedly, one-hour martinizers and upholstery cleaning companies around the world will make a fortune laundering soiled trousers and wet theater seats.

IS IT OFFENSIVE TO PUT UP SIGNS WELCOMING HOME YOUR DAUGHTER FROM IRAQ???

I have a hard time wrapping my head around this one! We should be thanking each and every member of the military for their service to our country...instead stuff like this is happening.

Recently, Lauren Boitet returned home to Orange Park, Florida (--in the northern part of the state, just south of Jacksonville), after finishing a 15-month tour of duty in Iraq.

So, to welcome Lauren home, her family decided to put up a few signs, balloons, flags and other decorations. Fair enough, right?

But shortly after the Boitets put up the decorations, they were taken down . . . by members of the homeowners association. Why?

Because according to the Pace Island Homeowner Association handbook, decorations of any kind . . . are against the rules.

And even though other members of the association have been allowed to put up decorations in the past . . . certain members of the homeowners association were worried the decorations would be seen as an endorsement of the war in Iraq.

To make sure that didn't happen . . . the decorations were taken down.

THE GEEK IN ME LOVES THIS!

There's a guy from Hawaii named Won Park who makes origami versions of "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" spaceships . . . out of dollar bills.

A GUY IN CALIFORNIA HAS A SARAH PALIN DUMMY IN HIS HALLOWEEN DISPLAY . . . HANGING FROM A TREE IN A NOOSE?

There are only a few days separating Halloween and the presidential election . . . so it makes sense that some people would choose to give their Halloween decorations a political theme. But is it taking it too far to decorate your house for Halloween . . . by hanging a candidate in effigy?

I ask because there's a guy in Los Angeles named Chad Michael Morisette who's decorated his house for Halloween . . . by hanging a mannequin dressed like SARAH PALIN from a noose.

And on top of Chad's house, there's another mannequin, which resembles JOHN MCCAIN . . . emerging from a flaming chimney.

Anyway, Chad says he knows some people will be offended by his decorations, but he thinks the effigy should be, quote, "seen as art . . . It's Halloween, it's time to be scary it's time to be spooky".

The Return Of Terry Tate Office Linebacker

Crazy Protester Interrupts Palin Interview - Watch more free videos

Remember the "Terry Tate Office Linebacker" commercials for Reebok a few years ago?

Then you'll appreciate "The Return of Terry Tate," which takes on SARAH PALIN.

Best Man Faints and Falls Backward

Best Man Faints and Falls Backward - Watch more free videos

The best man on the far right gets weak in the knees, then hilariously slams onto the church floor. He makes a very funny and loud thud on the ground.

Political Halloween Masks For Free!

Are you looking for a cheap, politically-themed Halloween costume that will take all of two minutes to throw together? If so . . . you're in luck.

I found a website where you can download and print out paper masks of JOHN and CINDY MCCAIN, SARAH PALIN and JOE LIEBERMAN . . . among others.

These would be perfect for "Steve King's Fright Night Part 2" at Ameristar...if you're REALLY lazy!

http://www.ep.tc/intro-archive049.html

Cool Pumpkins!

KISS MR. POTATO HEAD DOLLS!

If you thought that KISS had already put out a KISS version of every kind of toy and novelty imaginable . . . there was one they missed: KISS Mr. Potato Head dolls.

Of course, that was until this past weekend . . . when they announced that KISS Mr. Potato Heads ARE in development. They're expected to be ready by March of next year.

THE SARAH PALIN CORN FIELD

Have you noticed that over the past few weeks, a select group of Americans have lost their ever-loving minds over SARAH PALIN?

Well, one of these yahoos is a farmer named Duke Wheeler from Whitehouse, Ohio .

It seems Duke was so excited when Palin joined the McCain ticket that he hired an artist to mow a portrait of Palin . . . into his 16-acre cornfield.

http://www.whitehousecornmaze.com/

ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME NOMINEES

The 2009 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Nominees were announced on September 22nd. For the third consecutive year, only nine nominees were named, and of those, five will be inducted.

Jeff Beck, Metallica, Chic, Wanda Jackson, Little Anthony and the Imperials, Run-D-M-C, The Stooges, War and Bobby Womack.

COME ON! CHIC? RUN D-M-C? THESE AREN'T ROCK AND ROLL! How can they consider acts like Chic and Run Dmc when Steve Miller, Alice Cooper and Jimmy Page are NOT in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If they aren't going to be true to their Rock and Roll name...than change it to the Music Hall of Fame.

Check out who else is eligible, but not in the Rock and Roll Hall of fame: http://www.futurerockhall.com/eligibles.php

PRESIDENTIAL FINGER PUPPETS!

Would you like to stage your own presidential debate . . . using paper finger puppets? If so, you're in luck . . .

I found a website where you can download paper cutouts of the OBAMAS and the MCCAINS . . . which you can fold into finger puppets.

http://folduscandidate.com/

THE DUMP OF THE MONTH CLUB STRIKES AGAIN!

You've heard me talk about "The Dump of the Month Club" that I am a part of with my neighbors...right? If not, basically every month a group of friends in my neighborhood get together to eat at "dump" restaurants and bars around the city. For some reason...I still don't know why...they let me tag along with them. Every month the "dump" is a surprise location that is picked by one of the couples.

This month was a good one! IT was our first trip across the river to C.B. for a "dump" location. We went to The Railway Inn...good food...good drinks...football on the TVs...and I ate a Railway Burger about the size of my head! Oh...and to all the restaurant owners and operators...we mean no offense to your establishment by picking it as a "dump" location...it just means that you have good food and a certain atmosphere that we are looking for.

Here's a picture of the motley crew that attended this month's "dump". By the way, my wife and I are picking the dump for next month....any suggestions?

ONLY *ONE* HOUSE SURVIVED HURRICANE IKE IN THIS GALVESTON NEIGHBORHOOD

You have to see this picture. It's so messed up that it looks fake . . . but it's not. It's a neighborhood in Galveston, Texas, where Hurricane Ike hit hardest last week. It shows a lone house with nothing around it but utter devastation.

--The house belongs to Pam and Warren Adams, who built it in February 2006 after their first home was destroyed by Hurricane Rita. They asked the contractor to build a house that could withstand a Category 5 hurricane. Looks like they got their money's worth.

NEVER HAVE YOUR LUNCH STOLEN FROM YOUR WORK REFRIGERATOR AGAIN!

Has your lunch ever been stolen out of the refrigerator at work? If so, you should pick up an Anti-Theft Lunch Bag to make sure it never happens again.

Basically, the Anti-Theft Lunch Bag is a plastic bag that has green splotches printed on both sides . . . so it looks like your sandwich is moldy and disgusting

OK, so the Anti-Theft Lunch Bag hasn't actually hit the market yet . . . but if you email the inventor, Sherwood Forlee, at skforlee@gmail.com, he'll let you know when it does.

THE TEENAGER JARGON BUSTER

Sometimes it may seem as though you need a translator to understand what your teenager is talking about. With a new slang word seemingly invented every week; many parents find it difficult to keep up with the latest phrases and sayings. This is why we’ve come up with a teen-speak jargon buster. Put together by teenagers and parents, this dictionary of 'teenglish' (complete with definitions) should help break down the language barrier.

So what sort of slang is decoded on Got-A-Teenager?

"Flossing": to show off. (--As in, "Look at that guy flossing in his new car.")

"Beef": to have a problem. (--As in, "I have beef with him, so we're going to fight.")

"Sick": good. (--As in, "Your new shoes are sick.")

"'Rents": parents. (--As in, "My 'rents grounded me.")

Check it out HERE!

Former 'Raspberries' lead singer Eric Carmen arrested again for drunk driving

Here's the link to the dashcam video: http://www.tmz.com/tmz_main_video?titleid=1785267255

Here's the story from Cleveland's WKYC-TV...

Police Sgt. Jason Marvin said Eric H. Carmen of Gates Mills, was involved in a one-car accident just after 7 p.m. Tuesday night on Chagrin Boulevard.
An officer on the scene said he appeared to be under the influence of alcohol.
WKYC broke the story on Tuesday night.
Carmen, 59, was taken to Bedford Heights Jail and given a blood alcohol test, where the test showed a blood alcohol level of .234, almost three times the legal limit of .08.
Carmen was then arrested and charged with failure to control his vehicle and operating a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol.
Carmen was driving his 2008 black Range Rover eastbound on Chagrin Boulevard just after 7 p.m. Tuesday when he ran off the south side of the road in front of the Beechmont Country Club, running over a fire hydrant in front of the club.
Carmen was alone in the Range Rover at the time of the accident.
The Range Rover continued on, eventually coming to a rest about 100 feet down the road. Oil was leaking from underneath the car and it was towed from the scene by Interstate Towing.
The Orange Village Fire Department arrived on the scene and cleaned up the oil spill. Parts of Carmen's Range Rover were scattered around the area of the broken fire hydrant.
The Cleveland Water Department was notified that a fire hydrant had been sheared off and was lying on the ground but was not leaking.
Carmen was released on a personal recognizance bond of $500 at the jail.
Carmen was arrested by Gates Mills police in March, 2007, for OVI after driving his Lexus SUV off SOM Center Road there, hitting a mailbox and a sign, then ending up in someone's front yard.
At his court appearance in 2007, Carmen, the former lead singer of The Raspberries, pleaded no contest to those charges.
The judge fined him $750 and sentenced him to 30 days in jail, with all but three of those days suspended.
The Raspberries started in Cleveland in 1972 with the Top 5 hit "Go All the Way."
Three other Top 40 singles followed. After the group's fourth and final album, "Starting Over," came out in 1974, Carmen launched a successful solo career.
He released his first solo album, which included the hit, "All By Myself," in 1975.© 2008 WKYC-TV

THE SARAH PALIN ACTION FIGURE

Do you just love SARAH PALIN? If so, you might want to pick up a Sarah Palin action figure. Seriously.


--A toy manufacturer called Hero Builders has just released THREE, 12-inch Sarah Palin action figures. They are . . .


#1.) Sarah Palin the Executive (--She's dressed in a formal business suit.)


#2.) Sarah Palin the Superhero (--She has a long black coat, a mini-skirt . . . and a gun strapped to her thigh.)


#3.) Sarah Palin the Schoolgirl (--My personal favorite. She's wearing a plaid skirt and a white shirt that's tied up so her belly is exposed.) (Ananova)


(--Not a Sarah Palin fan? No problem. Hero Builders also has action figures of JOHN MCCAIN, BARACK OBAMA, JOHN EDWARDS . . . and ELIOT SPITZER.)