WHO WOULD BE IN YOUR DREAM BAND?

The video game developer Electronic Arts . . . which is one of the companies behind the game, "Rock Band" . . . recently conducted a survey to determine who would play in your ultimate, all-time DREAM BAND.

In the end, the late FREDDIE MERCURY . . . who was, of course, the lead singer of QUEEN . . . was named the singer of the "dream band".

No specifics on the voting process were released . . . but they say some of the other contenders were MICK JAGGER (of the ROLLING STONES) and the late KURT COBAIN (of NIRVANA).

JIMI HENDRIX . . . (--who died back in 1970) . . . was chosen as the band's guitarist, and FLEA, of the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, was picked as the bassist. The dream band's drummer is the late KEITH MOON, from THE WHO.

Who would be in your "Dream Band"?

NUGENT'S WORDS FOR YOUR GRAD!

Ted Nugent has written an op-ed piece in the Detroit News outlining for graduates the keys to leading a good life in America. Nugent writes, "What I am about to tell you will help you immensely throughout the rest of your lives if you commit to practicing Uncle Ted's proven modus operandi for a quality of life."

Work: Nobody owes you a thing. Everything you will get out of life will be based solely on what you put into it... The only free lunches are at the homeless shelter. If you want to dance, you have to pay the band. And you will get what you pay for.

Values: Never be afraid to let yourself go and exhibit unbridled raw emotion and enthusiasm. Emotions need exercise. March to the beat of making your own loud and obnoxious guitar-breeding noises no matter how many times they tell you to turn down and stop the feedback.

Politics: Be intelligently and effectively defiant. Defiance is the very spirit that gave birth to this country when our forefathers fought against overwhelming odds, signed the Declaration of Independence and fired the 'shot heard 'round the world.' If you have not made a few well-deserving idiots boil over in anger by the time you are 25, get busy. We live in a target-rich environment of liberal denial.

In closing he writes, "Trust your gut feelings. Only trust people who have earned your trust. Trust but verify. Never trust the French. Have fun. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Live smart, live good. Rock hard."

100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All-Time

Rolling Stone magazine has published its list of the "100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All-Time," and classic rock dominates the chart. Chuck Berry's "Johnny B. Goode" tops the list, with the remainder of the Top 10 featuring nine songs recorded before 1980. (Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is the lone exception.) Eric Clapton is the lead guitarist on four of the 100 songs -- as a member of John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers, Cream and Derek and the Dominos, and with The Beatles on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." The Beatles, Jeff Beck (one with the Yardbirds) and Jimi Hendrix each have three songs on the list.

100 Tool - "Vicarious"
99 My Morning Jacket - "Run Thru"
98 Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Under the Bridge"
97 Queens of the Stone Age - "No One Knows"
96 Hüsker Dü - "New Day Rising"
95 Moby Grape - "Omaha"
94 Dire Sraits - "Money for Nothing"
93 My Bloody Valentine - "Only Shallow"
92 Mick Jagger - "Memo from Turner"
91 The Mars Volta - "Drunkship of Lanterns"
90 The Smiths - "How Soon Is Now?"
89 Joan Jett and the Blackhearts - "I Love Rock N Roll"
88 Quicksilver Messenger Service - "Mona"
87 King Crimson - "Red"
86 Jeff Beck - "I Ain't Superstitious"
85 Phish - "You Enjoy Myself"
84 John Mayer - "Gravity"
83 Sublime - "What I Got"
82 The Ventures - "Walk -- Don't Run"
81 Michael Jackson - "Beat It"
80 Steely Dan - "Kid Charlemagne"
79 Sonic Youth - "Silver Rocket"
78 Buddy Guy - "Stone Crazy"
77 Pearl Jam - "Even Flow"
76 Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - "American Girl"
75 Frank Zappa - "Willie the Pimp"
74 ZZ Top - "La Grange"
73 Blue Cheer - "Summertime Blues"
72 Weezer - "Say It Ain't So"
71 The Strokes - "Take It Or Leave It"
70 Smashing Pumpkins - "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
69 Pink Floyd - "Money"
68 B.B. King - "The Thrill is Gone"
67 Bruce Springsteen - "Adam Raised A Cain"
66 Stevie Ray Vaughan - "Texas Flood"
65 The Police - "Message in a Bottle"
64 Lynyrd Skynyrd - "Freebird"
63 Guns n' Roses - "Sweet Child O' Mine"
62 Albert King - "Born Under a Bad Sign"
61 Sam And Dave - "Soul Man"
60 Funkadelic - "Maggot Brain"
59 Jeff Beck - "Freeway Jam"
58 Link Wray - "Rumble"
57 Grateful Dead - "Dark Star"
56 The Byrds - "Eight Miles High"
55 Cream - "White Room"
54 Stevie Ray Vaughan - "Little Wing"
53 Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Born on the Bayou"
52 Radiohead - "My Iron Lung"
51 Ozzy Osbourne - "Crazy Train"
50 Pixies - "Debaser"
49 Jimi Hendrix - "Machine Gun"
48 The Clash - "London Calling"
47 Van Halen - "Panama"
46 Dick Dale and the Del-Tones - "Miserlou"
45 The Beatles - "I Saw Her Standing There"
44 Sleater-Kinney - "Dig Me Out"
43 The Sex Pistols - "Holidays in the Sun"
42 John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers - "Hideaway"
41 Television - "Marquee Moon"
40 The Who - "I Can See for Miles"
39 Santana - "Black Magic Woman"
38 The Faces - "Stay With Me"
37 Elvis Presley - "That's All Right"
36 Pink Floyd - "Interstellar Overdrive"
35 The Stooges - "1969"
34 Aerosmith - "Walk This Way"
33 Metallica - "Master of Puppets"
32 Dire Straits - "Sultans of Swing"
31 Queen - "Keep Yourself Alive"
30 Bill Haley and His Comets - "(We're Gonna) Rock Around the Clock"
29 AC/DC - "Back in Black"
28 U2 - "Where the Streets Have No Name"
27 The Paul Butterfield Blues Band - "Look Over Yonders Wall"
26 B.B. King - "How Blue Can You Get"
25 The Rolling Stones - "Can't You Hear Me Knocking"
24 Rage Against the Machine- "Killing in the Name"
23 The Yardbirds - "Over Under Sideways Down"
22 The Beatles - "A Hard Day's Night"
21 The White Stripes - "Seven Nation Army"
20 The Impressions - "People Get Ready"
19 Prince and the Revolution - "Purple Rain"
18 Ramones - "Blitzkrieg Bop"
17 Black Sabbath - "Black Sabbath"
16 Neil Young with Crazy Horse - "Cowgirl in the Sand"
15 The Who - "My Generation"
14 Bruce Springsteen - "Born to Run"
13 Derek and the Dominos - "Layla"
12 The Jimi Hendrix Experience - "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)"
11 Led Zeppelin - "Whole Lotta Love"
10 Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
09 The Allman Brothers Band - "Statesboro Blues"
08 Led Zeppelin - "Stairway to Heaven"
07 The Beatles - "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
06 Van Halen - "Eruption"
05 Rolling Stones - "Brown Sugar"
04 The Kinks - "You Really Got Me"
03 Cream - "Crossroads"
02 Jimi Hendrix - "Purple Haze"
01 Chuck Berry - "Johnny B. Goode

THE LARRY CRAIG BOBBLEFOOT!

Capitalizing on Senator Larry Craig's restroom bust, a Minnesota minor league baseball team this Sunday is giving away a promotional item celebrating the Republican politician's arrest last year at the Minneapolis-St.Paul airport. Dubbed a "bobblefoot" (as opposed to a bobblehead doll), the polyresin giveaway depicts an occupied bathroom stall (the inhabitant's pants and shoes can be seen below the stall's panels). When the St. Paul Saints's "bobblefoot" is shaken, one of the spring-loaded feet taps. The keepsake, which will be handed out to the first 2500 fans attending the Saints's May 25 game against the Fort Worth Cats, can be seen below and on the following pages. According to an undercover cop's account, while in the airport bathroom, Craig "tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot." The officer, Sgt. Dave Karsnia, was seated in an adjoining stall and believed Craig's footsie was a signal that the politician was seeking sex. Craig has denied this, blaming his wide stance for Karsnia's unfortunate misinterpretation.

BUY AEROSMITH'S BRAD WHITFORD'S JUNK?!?

While Joe Perry recuperates from knee surgery and Steven Tyler reportedly gets cleaned up in rehab, guitarist Brad Whitford is cleaning out his closet. He's selling some of the equipment he used on the band's Get a Grip Tour, at Woodstock '94, on Saturday Night Live and elsewhere on E-Bay. You can check out pictures of the equipment at the band's website. http://aeroforceone.com/

Bid on the auction items HERE!

DRIVERS TEST!

33 MILLION DRIVERS WOULD FAIL THE WRITTEN DRIVERS TEST IF THEY TOOK IT TODAY:

A new survey (--by the GMAC Insurance National Drivers Test) found that 16.4% of American drivers wouldn't pass the written portion of the DMV test if they took it today. That's 33 MILLION Americans who don't know the rules of the road.

But let's see if you do. Here are the two questions that tripped people up the most:


What should you do when you approach a steady yellow traffic light?


A.) Run it before it turns red.


B.) Stop if it is safe to do so.


C.) Slow down and proceed with caution.


If you said A or C, you're wrong . . . but so were most people. 84% of drivers didn't know that when you approach a steady yellow . . . you should stop if it's safe to do so.


Here's the other question that stumped drivers: What is a safe following distance?


A.) Ride the bumper of the person in front of you to make them go faster.

B.) Leave a 3-second cushion.

C.) Leave a 10-second cushion and hold up traffic.


73% of drivers got this wrong. The correct answer is B. You're supposed to leave a 3-second cushion between you and the car in front of you. That means that when the car in front of you passes a sign . . . it should take 3 seconds before you pass the same sign.


--So which places scored lowest on the test? Here are the five worst:


#47.) Georgia

#48.) Massachusetts

#49.) New York

#50.) Washington, D.C.

#51.) New Jersey. (--Jersey drivers only got 69.9% of the questions right.)


The top five states where drivers actually know the rules of the road are:


#5.) Minnesota

#4.) Idaho

#3.) Nebraska

#2.) Wyoming

#1.) Kansas. Drivers in Kansas got 84% of the questions right . . . making them the most knowledgeable drivers in the nation.

SEE HOW YOU DO ON THE TEST HERE!

GREAT NEWSPAPER ARTICLE ABOUT OMAHA!

Everything's up to date in ... Omaha

By Kevin Collison/The Kansas City Star

Anyone who thinks Kansas City has gone about as far as it can go when it comes to revitalizing downtown should take a little trip upriver to Omaha.

This is a city that doesn't rest on its laurels. Just last week it was announced that a 24,000-seat ballpark would be built downtown as part of a 25-year deal to keep the College World Series.

The $127 million ballpark, likely to be designed by HOK Sport of Kansas City, will be next to the 4 1/2 -year-old Qwest Center, one of the country's more successful arenas. The Qwest Center was a major element in the ongoing revitalization of the Omaha downtown riverfront.

Later this year, a $17 million pedestrian bridge spanning the Missouri River between Nebraska and Iowa is scheduled to open linking the downtown riverfront with 150 miles of trails. The graceful bridge is next to a new 12-story condominium building, and a twin tower is about to start construction.

Those condo towers are part of a huge investment in downtown housing that has not only renovated many older buildings, but also generated plenty of new construction. The biggest project on tap is a 32-story condo and hotel tower planned by Jason Townsend, a Kansas City developer, on the site of the old Union Pacific building.

Union Pacific built a new 19-story headquarters across the street in 2004. It's not far from the $102 million Holland Performing Arts Center that was completed in 2005. The performing arts center is across from the urban park Omaha began building in the 1970s with the ultimate goal of reconnecting the downtown core with the river.

This brings us back to the ballpark, arena, pedestrian bridge, riverfront condos, etc.

Whew. Now that I've caught my breath, there's more.

Mutual of Omaha is building a $300 million mixed-use development on the west edge of downtown that will include 600 apartments and condos, and 220,000 square feet of retail, including a movie complex. The Midtown Crossing at Turner Park is scheduled to be completed late next year.And get this, Kansas City: The next big thing being planned is a streetcar route that will link major downtown attractions including the Qwest Center; the Old Market -- a funky historic district of shops, restaurants and bars -- the central business district, and Creighton University.Plans call for this starter line to be locally funded with an eye toward attracting federal funding for expansions down the track. Sound familiar?

There have been several mayors who've consistently pushed Omaha's downtown revitalization, but the latest is a son of Kansas City. Mayor Mike Fahey is a 1961 graduate of Bishop Lillis High School and his old home was razed to make way for Penn Valley Community College.Fahey, like his predecessors, has benefited mightily from an almost hyperactive corporate community that continues to cooperatively push the Omaha development envelope. Remember, this is a metro area of 815,000 residents versus about 2 million in Greater Kansas City.

Civic leaders have established what's called Heritage Services to channel private donations for projects including the ballpark, performing arts center and the arena.And by the way, Omaha has used what's unfortunately become almost a dirty phrase around here -- tax increment financing -- to assist the redevelopment boom, including the new housing projects. That's made a critical difference.

Kansas City has had success converting old buildings to housing, but constructing new condos has been tough, primarily because developers can't make the numbers work. The TIF assistance in Omaha has allowed developers to build new projects and sell units at competitive prices, and still make a profit.

To Fahey, who said the city's finances are just fine, the idea that a community can ever relax when it comes to keeping its downtown vibrant is foolish."You don't want to lose your momentum," he said. "From my perspective, a city that loses momentum is like having a pacifier put in your mouth."

G.E.A.R.S. CAR SHOW ON SUNDAY

The G.E.A.R.S. Car Show on Sunday was a blast! Great cars and a great bunch of people!

THE SCARY MAZE

Scary Maze Game

Play more games at Fugly.com
This is the game that I was talking about on Thursday. I can't believe it "got me"

THE TOP 50 MOST MEMORABLE MOVIE CARS

RottenTomatoes.com has come up with a list of the Top 50 Most Memorable Movie Cars. Here's the Top 10 . . .


#1.) Doc Brown's DeLorean . . . from the "Back to the Future" movies. (--The first one came out in 1985.)

#2.) Herbie . . . the Volkswagen from 1968's "The Love Bug" and several other movies, right up through that 2005 LINDSAY LOHAN flick, "Herbie: Fully Loaded".

#3.) The General Lee . . . from "The Dukes of Hazzard". (2005) (--Technically, this is a CHEAT. The General Lee is a TV CAR. Not only did the movie version come more than 20 years later . . . it was TOTALLY LAME.)

#4.) The Mach 5 . . . from "Speed Racer". Another cheat, since "Speed Racer" was a cartoon long before it was a movie.

#5.) The Aston Martin DB5 . . . from various James Bond flicks, beginning with 1964's "Goldfinger".

#6.) The Ecto-1 . . . from "Ghostbusters" and "Ghostbusters 2". (1984, 1989)

#7.) Bandit's Trans Am . . . from "Smokey and the Bandit" and its two sequels. (--The original came out in 1977.)

#8.) Starsky's Gran Torino . . . from "Starsky & Hutch". (--Another cheat, since "Starsky & Hutch" was a TV show LONG before it became a movie. The series ran from 1974 to 1979. The movie came out in 2004.)

#9.) The Batmobile . . . from Tim Burton's "Batman" and "Batman Returns". (1989, 1992)

#10.) Mr. Frye's Ferrari . . . from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". (1986)


Check out the entire Top 50 . . . and a picture of each car . . . here . . .

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/speed_racer/news/1726473/10.php

NASA WILL PAY YOU $17,000 TO STAY IN BED FOR 90 DAYS

Everybody, listen up . . . I've got a really great opportunity to tell you about.

NASA is conducting a bed-rest study, and they're willing to pay $17,000 to anyone who's willing to stay in bed . . . for 90 days straight (--that's 2,160 hours).

If you're accepted into the study, you'll spend 24 hours a day on your back with your head just slightly lower than your feet. You'll be awake for 16 hours a day, and get a solid eight hours of sleep every night.

Sounds great, right? Here's the catch. In order to qualify for the study . . .

#1.) You have to pass the Air Force physical for flight duty. (--Fat lazy bastards looking to get paid for 3 months of being a fat lazy bastard need not apply.)

#2.) You have to go to Houston, Texas, for the duration of the test, so NASA's scientists can observe you from their Human Test Subject Facility at Johnson Space Center. (Wired)

So you know, NASA hasn't said WHY they're conducting this bed-rest experiment, other than to say they want to learn the effect of microgravity . . . or weightlessness . . . on the human body.

Apply to be a guinea pig for NASA here . . . http://www.bedreststudy.com/apply.aspx

JOSH SNEED & LOOK AT ME SHIRTS!

Josh Sneed is at the Funnybone this weekend. Check out http://www.funnyboneomaha.com/ for ticket details.

Also, check out his funny t-shirt company...they make great gifts! Use the promo code CD105 and received free shipping! http://www.lookatmeshirts.com/

BEST TV SHOWS ON TV....EVER!

The "New York Post" has put together a list of The 35 Best Shows on TV . . . EVER, and "The Sopranos" edged out "All in the Family" to take the top honor.


--Overall, there isn't really anything shocking about the list, except that they chose several recent shows that haven't yet weathered the test of time.


--For example, "The West Wing" and "24" both made the Top 10 . . . but "Seinfeld" is down at #23, "Gunsmoke" is #24, and "M*A*S*H" didn't even make the cut.


--Here are the Top 10:


#1.) "The Sopranos", (1999 - 2007, Hbo)


#2.) "All in the Family", (1971 - 1979, Cbs)


#3.) "The Oprah Winfrey Show", (1986 - Present, Syndication)


#4.) "American Idol", (2002 - Present, Fox)


#5.) "The West Wing", (1999 - 2006, Nbc)


#6.) "Mary Tyler Moore", (1970 - 1977, Cbs)


#7.) "Dallas", (1978 - 1991, Cbs)


#8.) "24", (2001 - Present, Fox)


#9.) "Twin Peaks", (1990 - 1991, Abc)


#10.) "Sesame Street", (1969 - Present, Pbs)


(--You can see the complete list . . . along with the cases they make for each show . . . at this link . . .) http://www.nypost.com/seven/04272008/tv/the_best_shows_on_tv__ever_108106.htm?page=0

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!

TOMMY CHONG

Check out Tommy's website to find his movie A/K/A Tommy Chong www.akatommychong.com

NATALIE PORTMAN PEE'D ON?!?

It's rare that the paparazzi catches anything that's really, honestly interesting . . . but they scored this time. Check out these pictures of NATALIE PORTMAN getting her leg peed on by her boyfriend's dog . . . and getting a good laugh out of it!

WE ALMOST LOST MY FAVORITE ACTRESS!

SANDRA BULLOCK and her husband, "Monster Garage" star JESSE JAMES, were hit by a drunk driver in Gloucester, Massachusetts on Friday night . . . but they're fine.

According to police, Sandra and Jesse were being driven to their hotel when a gray Subaru station wagon crossed into the opposite lane and hit them head-on.

The culprit was a 64-year-old Gloucester woman named Lucille Gatchell. Police says she was TWO

AND A HALF TIMES the legal limit . . . meaning she blew a .20 on a breathalyzer test.

But get this: Lucille actually seemed AMUSED when she found out who was in the vehicle she smashed into. Gloucester cop Kevin Mackey says, quote, "After I arrested her I had her in the cruiser. I said, 'Do you realize who you hit?'

"She asked, 'Who?' I said, 'Sandra Bullock.' She was almost giggling and laughing. She said, 'My first drunk driving and I hit Sandra Bullock.'"

BILLY BOB THORNTON....THE SINGER?

BILLY BOB THORNTON has a new band called THE BOXMASTERS . . . and they'll release their debut album on June 10th. There's no word on a title . . . but it'll be a double album with both original songs and covers.

Billy Bob says, quote, "Both musically and in live performance, [the band] is like watching a combination of '60s television shows like 'Dean Martin', 'Johnny Cash Show', all those variety shows, with electric hillbilly music . . . it's a great blend."

Check them out HERE!

JOKE FROM WORKFORCE MEMBER DAN!

The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a shot. "No way! No needles! I hate needles!" the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man objects. "I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!"

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill. "No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."

The dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet." The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"

"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth!"

WIN YOUR VERY OWN MAGIC BUS!

This iconic VW van from 1965 - provided by Volkswagen Commercial Vehicles - has been signed by The Who's Roger Daltrey CBE, Patron of Teenage Cancer Trust, and Pete Townshend.It costs just £5 to enter the competition, with a minimum of £3.50 from each entry being donated to the Teenage Cancer Trust - click here for more information about TCT.All entrants will receive a free download of a previously unreleased live performance by The Who of their famous hit ''Magic Bus'' performed during the International Bus Meeting in Hannover in October 2007.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO!

ZANE LAMPREY, HOST OF THREE SHEETS ON THURSDAY MORNING!

Zane Lamprey, the very funny host of one of my favorite shows, "Three Sheets" will be on Thursday (4/16) morning. Zane travels the world exploring the drinking culture in small pubs. The show is very funny and can be found on the MOJOHD channel on Cox HD.

Click HERE for more info.

WALKING WITH DINOSAURS!

www.dinosaurlive.com

HELP JOHN ATKINSON!

John was on the air with us this morning talking about his dream to play Torry Pines. He needs your vote!

Here's the e-mail that was sent to me about John.

I have a friend who entered a contest to play golf at Torrey Pines, the site of the 2008 U.S. Open, his name is John Atkinson. Out of more that 56,000 contestants he has been chosen as one of the five finalists.Let me tell you why I’m sending this to all of you. John was diagnosed with Stage 4 inoperable Aden carcinoma--non-small cell lung cancer a year ago tomorrow. John has never smoked and we don’t know how he got this horrible disease. He’s a 39 year old husband and father of 3 children. Most people with this type of lung cancer do not live for more than 5 years after the diagnosis. John, along with all of his friends and family, has taken on the attitude that he can beat this. He has been enrolled in a clinical study at Methodist Hospital for the past year and has gone through numerous treatments of chemotherapy. Thankfully, after a year, the cancer is stable and has not spread to any other part of his body.Lung cancer is the deadliest of all cancers, yet is drastically under funded and under researched. There is no early detection for this cancer and over 160,000 will die from it this year alone. John feels this is the kind of opportunity to show America what is possible, even when faced with a life altering disease.Whether you’re a golfer or not I’d really appreciate it very much if we can give John the votes needed to let him play at Torrey Pines. You’ll have to register to vote and if you don’t want to that’s your prerogative. But if you could do me just this one favor I know John would very much appreciate it. Once you register you can vote once a day for the next month and then the person with the most votes will get to play with 3 celebrities, Matt Lauer, Tony Romo and Justin Timberlake, a week before the US Open, and it will be taped by NBC. The other 4 contestants still get to play Torrey Pines they just won’t be taped.To vote for John, please go to: http://www.gdopencontest.com/

My 1967 IMPALA UPDATE

Well, this weekend I did a lot of dirty, messy, rusty and hard work removing the rusted trunk floor in my Impala. I hope my Tetanus shot is up to date because I was all cut up by the sharp rusty metal. The rusty metal is all out after 2 days with a grinder, air hammer, cutoff wheel and good old fashioned FORCE.

Now I just have to fit and weld the new panels in.... There's a reason it's called a PROJECT CAR!

BRIAN POSEHN IS ON THURSDAY AT 8AM!

Comedian and actor Brian Posehn will be on in the 8am hour. You know him as Kevin from Just Shoot Me or the ink feiry from the Staples commercials. He's a great comedian and you can see him this weekend at the Funnybone.

COMEDIAN & ACTOR BILLY GARDELL ON WEDNESDAY

Comedian/Actor Bill Gardell will be on with Steve and Mary in the 7am hour Wednesday 4/2 to talk about his guest apperiance on "My Name is Earl" and his new Comedy Central special on Friday. Check out his website at www.billygardell.com

THE RACOON HAS BEEN CAPTURED!

The raccoon that was living in the ceilings here at CD 105.9 has been captured by Critter Control!

Rocky the Raccoon is a male about 35 pounds...he likes long walks in our attic, marshmallow and females in heat.

Jeff from Critter Control gives us the lowdown!

WORLD OF WHEELS 2008

Here are a few pictures from this year's World of Wheels show.

THE OMAHAULIN' DISPLAY

PEOPLE VOTING FOR THEIR FAVORITE WORKFORCE RIDE

STEVE MEETS HIS IDOL/MAN-CRUSH CHIP FOOSE...by the way he was REALLY nice and even dropped by the Omahaulin' display and signed the 73 Vega that Scott owns and he signed the CD 105.9 WORKFORCE WAGON!

JAMIE LEE CURTIS IN AARP?!?

Jamie Lee Curtis is the cover girl for AARP! ...and she looks great!

WHAT I DID ON MY SPRING BREAK

We took a LONG drive out to see the Sand Hill Cranes....what a disappointment. We drove all over and only saw a few in the fields. We couldn't get close enough to see them...they basically looked like little grey dots in a field. We took an article from the World Herald that supposedly "told us everything" but it sent us on the wrong road to see them AND forgot to mention you can only see a bunch of them at sunrise and sunset!!!

We found out later that you have to go to the river at sunset or sunrise to see the huge flock of them. WHO KNOW!?! Nobody told us that!

We did see the Kearney Arch. Great museum about the early settlers moving west. It's really cool.

This was as close as I got to a Sand Hill Crane.

Ain't she a beaut!?

....and I also worked on my 1967 Impala....the project that never ends!

10 MOST HISTORICALLY INACCURATE MOVIES

Here's a fun list of the 10 Most Historically Inaccurate Movies. MEL GIBSON makes the list THREE TIMES, thanks to "The Patriot", "Braveheart" and "Apocalypto" . . .

Check out the list HERE

The Great Illinois Corn Flake

I don't know how closely you look at your breakfast, but next time you take a bite, be careful you're not swallowing a couple grand. That's the going rate of a single Kellogg's Frosted Flake these days . . . depending on what it looks like. Check it out . . .

Last week, 15-year-old Emily McIntire, a high school sophomore in Chesapeake, Virginia, was finishing her cereal as she headed to school. And somehow, as she was about to take a bite, she noticed one flake was shaped exactly like the state of Illinois.

She showed it to her parents, and they suggested she put it on eBay . . . which she did.

For some reason, bidding on this thing has snowballed out of control. As of last night, bidding on "The Great Illinois Corn Flake" (--yes, that's really what she called it) was up to $6,500. See it HERE!

HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I CAN GET FOR THE GREAT RAISIN BRAN STATE OF HAWAII?!?

THE KING CELEBRATES HIS BIRTHDAY WITH A 40!

I celebrated my birthday the only way I know how...rollin' with my homies...with pork rinds and a 40! OH YEEEAAAA BIG PIMPIN!

Thanks Joel and Ted!

STEVE'S BIRTHDAY CAKE FROM MARY

In honor of Steve's birthday on Friday Mary made a really nice cake to celebrate the special day!

HERE'S THE WOMAN THAT MY WIFE THINKS I HAVE A CRUSH ON.

This is Kristen Gum the host of Cash and Treasures on the Travel Channel. My wife thinks I have a huge crush on her and she gets mad at me when I watch it!

PATRICK SWAZE IS STILL SMOKING???

Pancreatic cancer is one of the deadliest forms of cancer there is. And smoking is responsible for one-third of all pancreatic cancer deaths. And yet cancer patient PATRICK SWAYZE is STILL SMOKING.

This week's issue of the "National Enquirer" has a cover picture of Swayze leaving a chemotherapy appointment on Monday . . . WITH A CIGARETTE IN HIS MOUTH.

Swayze is a reported THREE-PACK-A-DAY man. "People" magazine says he's doing chemotherapy combined with the experimental drug Vatalanib, to cut off the blood supply to the tumor to shrink it.

SHOCKING LIE DETECTOR

This is the "Shocking Liar" that Steve and Mary were messing around with on the morning show. It works pretty well and really gives you a shock if you lie.

Get one for yourself HERE

DAWN WELLS - MARY ANN POT BUST MUGSHOT!

That's right . . . Mary Ann has been messing with the Mary Jane.

Although this is the first time anybody is hearing about it, Dawn was actually busted back on October 18th of last year. Dawn was driving home from her own surprise birthday party in Teton County, Idaho, when she got pulled over for driving erratically.

The arresting officer said in his report, quote, "I exited my patrol vehicle and immediately was able to smell a strong odor of burning marijuana. As I approached the vehicle I noticed all four windows of the vehicle were lowered and the female driver was not wearing a jacket."

When the cop searched the vehicle, he found four partially-smoked joints and two cases used for storing marijuana. He gave Dawn a field sobriety test, which she failed.

BEATLES MEMORIES

Psychologists at the University of Leeds in England are conducting a study in which they are asking people to recall moments in their lives that are linked to the music of The Beatles. They are compiling the information for a database of "autobiographical" memories. Professor Martin Conway says, "We're very interested in how different age groups associate with different aspects of the Beatles. The reason why we're interested in this is we're interested in a thing called generation identity. So we're quite interested in how your memory of your own personal experiences is linked into public events. And the Beatles are a fantastic way to look at that." You can participate by logging onto MagicalMemoryTour-dot-com.

TAKE THE RHINO MUSIC APPTITUDE TEST!

Rhino continues its search for the ultimate pop/rock expert with the Sixth Annual Occasional Rhino Musical Aptitude Test on March 14, 2008.

305 questions in 60 minutes. Open book multiple-choice test covering every genre of music except classical. Go ahead and use notes - no cheat sheet, laptop, or encyclopedia is a substitute for instant music recall when you have less than 12 seconds per question!

The contestants with the highest score will receive 100 essential Rhino CDs as selected by Rhino's A&R staff. Of those two winners, the contestant with the higher score overall will also receive a place on Rhino's new-release mailing list for the rest of his/her life (or Rhino's, whichever ends first).

Preregister for the test HERE! www.rhino.com/rmat

MOM SPRAYS 2 YEAR OLD WITH A HIGH PRESSURE CAR WAS HOSE!?!

This is just another example of how TRULY SAD it is that you need a license to drive, go hunting or even sell real estate . . . but any jerk with working genitalia can become a parent.

On February 24th, 22-year-old Nicki Ramirez was at a self-serve car wash in Orlando, Florida.
When her two-year-old daughter began throwing a temper tantrum, Nicki's friend, who was with her, pulled the little girl out of the car. Then, Nicki sprayed her own daughter with a high-powered pressure washer in the head, face and chest.

To give you some perspective on how brutal that is, the force of a typical pressure washer is about 60 times more powerful than a garden hose.)

Surveillance cameras caught the whole thing on tape . . . and the video started making the rounds on the news and on the Web.

Last Thursday . . . after Nicki saw the tape on the news . . . she turned herself in to police. But according to Nicki, the whole thing's been blown WAY out of proportion.

She says she was just using the water hose to, quote, "calm down" her daughter. She also points out that a nurse examined the little girl and couldn't find any evidence of injuries. Of course, since it had been 11 days since the girl had been sprayed, the nurse says any redness, welts, or bruising could have already gone away.

And what's worse? This woman . . . this VILE creature who sprays her kid in the face with a high pressure water hose to calm her down . . . is five months pregnant.

On Saturday, Nicki was released from jail on $1,000 bail. She's facing felony child abuse charges.