Thursday, December 21, 2006

TOP FACTS ABOUT 24's JACK BAUER


The facts about Chuck Norris are impressive, but Jack Bauer has him beat hands down.
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
If Jack Bauer crawls out of an air-conditioning duct and sees his shadow, it means that there will be 24 more hours of terrorists getting killed.
Under intense interrogation by Jack Bauer, the fifth dentist cracked and admitted he recommends Trident for his patients who chew gum.
Jack Bauer actually wrote an episode of Three's Company in which there was no misunderstanding in the plot.
On Jack Bauer's say-so, the film Gigli would cease sucking.
Jack Bauer helped U-2 find what they were looking for.
Coffee cannot start it's day without being drunk by Jack Bauer.
GI Joe plays with a Jack Bauer action figure.
When in Jack Bauer's presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down.
Jack Bauer can squeeze through spaces that would make a spider claustrophobic.
Tired of the incessant whining and complaining, Jack Bauer found the dogs and let them right back in.
Jack Bauer's saliva is bullet-proof.
After receiving repeated roundhouse kicks to the head from Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer was heard to ask,"Can you go a bit lower? I was crammed in an air conditioning duct between 7:00
a.m. and 8:00 a.m. and my back is killing me."
Jack Bauer can eat five times his body weight in terrorists.
Concerned that his dog would break under interrogation, Jack Bauer snapped his neck and
turned him into the bag which he still carries to this day.
Jack Bauer has the ability to smell sounds.

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